Love Is A Choice

This week, my baby brother ties the knot with his partner of 12 years and counting. I’m truly happy for both him and his bride, whom I’ve already considered my sister for many years. To me, whether they’re officially married is only a matter of formality. The two of them have been through some truly difficult times and managed to stick together through thick and thin. They chose. They loved. And they continue to choose and love one another.

LoveChoosing Love

I didn’t come from a close-knit family by any objective standard. After all, the six of us (my parents, three brothers and myself) plus our offspring are spread out in two different continents. When we gathered last as a family for my dad’s 70th birthday a year and a half ago, it was the first time in 16 years that we were all together in one place—during which time 4 grandchildren were born. Since I left my childhood home almost 27 years ago, weddings happened with one or more of us four kids missing. That was just the way things were, and no one took it personally. The wedding this Saturday will be the first in our family history, when our baby won’t be missing any sibling on his special day.

For a host of reasons, traveling halfway across the globe to attend my brother’s wedding at this time really isn’t the best idea. Yet, I’ve chosen to make this trip. Why? Because I’m doing it for Love—my mantra for 2013. To witness the exchange of vows between my brother and the love of his life is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration I don’t want to regret missing. When I’m grounded in my heart center, I’m connected to the Infinite Pure Love within that’s my true nature, seeking to be expressed through and as me. In the eyes of Love, whether or not we’re a close-knit family is irrelevant. In the consciousness of Love, whatever history we’ve shared matters not one bit. When Love is Why, it doesn’t matter that my family looks like one spectacular cosmic mistake, binding by blood such vastly different personalities, beliefs and sensibilities.

Love Is Our Nature

Family

I’ve learned that Love is a conscious choice in the human experience—always has, always will be. We can choose to love anyone—including ourselves—under any condition in any capacity. We can choose to receive love from the most unlikely human source at the most inopportune time in the most unexpected way. If we’re willing to keep our heart open, choosing Love is a no-brainer. It’s really the only thing to do. The only thing to be.

So, with a full and grateful heart, I’m looking forward to celebrating Love—romantic love between my brother and his bride, as well as parent-daughter and sibling love with my family.

Over to you: What’s your take on Love? Do you believe it’s a choice? How do you choose it when it may not be easy to do so?

___________________

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About Alice Chan, Ph.D.

Dr. Alice Chan is passionate about developing conscious leaders and organizations. Her path to serve her life purpose has included being an award-winning Cornell professor and a leader in the corporate world for nearly 15 years. She’s the author of the book, REACH Your Dreams: Five Steps to be a Conscious Creator in Your Life, and creator of the program, 30 Days to Living Your Best Life. All content on this blog and website is her own, not the opinions of her employer.

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8 comments
Lawrencepat
Lawrencepat

When a child is born, love radiates from every pore on their body. The only fear it has is that of a loud sound. The child, like us, is the essence of love. As the child grows s/he imitates those around them, take on their fears, behavior and language. As they mature, the "ego" attempts to take conrol over the body and mind. When decisions are made, these conflicting ideas of love and spirit and the other dualism associated with them force us to make a decision. The highest form of spiritual progress is unconditional love, where we give and literally sacrifice ourselves for another for the highest good. Motherhood is a great example.   Your "Do it for love" is a goal everyone should reach for in their life. You are leading by example. Congratulations to your brother and his future wife. You inspire others in many ways, 

JoyChristin
JoyChristin

Yes, I believe and practice that Love is Universal energy, and we can consciously choose to tap into it each moment, as we are.  As in this example you have shared, past patterns, actions, thoughts, only have bearing on our current creations and connections when we allow it to.  I am so glad that you are traveling for the wedding--a beautiful affirmation of your intention, with physical movement into new space.  I can only imagine what shall unfold for you after vesting presence to this commitment!  

Casey Fleming
Casey Fleming

Alice, I am so glad you are choosing to be with your brother.  We choose between priorities all the time; the loving choice is always to choose the higher principle.  However crazy and dysfunctional our families are - and mine is certainly so - we can, in most cases, count on them.  When we choose to love them unconditionally, when we choose to support them in their watershed moments and celebrate their life, we plant again the seed of love and nurture it.  From there it will grow and nourish the world, all from our one small decision.

Sometimes this means sacrifice, and taking a moment to consider it is normal and wise.  But choose the higher principle - love - every time and you can't go wrong.  Your 2013 mantra, "Do it for love" inspires me constantly.  I hope you have a wonderful time with your family.

ThinDifference
ThinDifference

It is a choice, and it should be a verb. Bob Goff wrote a great book entitled Love Does. When we embrace love in our actions and mindset, live becomes much more fulfilling and purpose-filled. Love isn't a squishy thing; it is a life-changing thing. Thanks for raising our call to act with love! Jon

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@Lawrencepat Very well said, Lawrence! Yes, as babies, we haven't learned how to block love, both its expression through and as us, as well as our receptivity to it. As we grow, ego develops, and tries to get us to act out of fear. While we may not be able to practice unconditional love and be its expression in how we show up every minute of every day, every moment that we can is one more moment in this human incarnation we live our true spiritual nature. Many thanks for joining the conversation here and adding your great insights! Also, much gratitude for your very kind words and wishes for my brother's wedding. All the best to you, Lawrence!

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@JoyChristin Thank you, Joy! It's really true that Love is Universal energy into which we can tap from moment to moment. When we find it challenging to love, it's because we've blocked it ourselves by focusing on fear and lack. And, yes, I do look forward to a beautiful trip. Thank you for sharing your comment, Joy.

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@Casey Fleming Casey, thank you for your comment. Yes, love in its purest form is unconditional, and when we're connected to that, everything flows and magic happens. Thank you also for your kind words regarding my mantra and your good wishes regarding my family visit. Sending you many blessings and good wishes in kind.

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@ThinDifference I agree completely, Jon, that love is a life-changing thing. Love isn't just a reactive emotion. It's a conscious way of being. I'll have to check out Love Does. Thank you for the recommendation and for your great comment, Jon. Appreciate it!

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