No Justification Needed

A few months ago, I wrote about what vulnerability is and that to be vulnerable is to remember Love—which is our nature—and to choose it over fear—which is learned. Again, to quote Marianne Williamson from her book, A Return to Love:

A Return To LoveLove is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.

To be willing to be vulnerable is to be willing to be real and honest with ourselves about how we feel when we bump up against the limits of being human. It’s to be willing to acknowledge fear when feeling it but choosing consciously to turn to Love.

All of this has been on my mind and in my heart a lot. Objectively speaking, I’m not having the easiest time with the current segment of the path I’m walking. It challenges me every single day to choose high consciousness and to keep ego-based, self-preservation instincts in check, and to recognize when I’ve slipped into fear and chosen actions from that low-energy place instead of Love. I notice each and every day that I have a choice to choose differently and to course-correct as needed. In short, I’m very much feeling the limits of being human.

A Lesson of Acceptance

Since I believe that we’re all spiritual beings having a human experience, I know that every moment—whether profound or pedestrian—and every experience—whether life-altering or routine—is for the benefit of our evolution. As such, I know that this challenging time is also a gift, a lesson for the benefit of my evolution. Through meditation and reflection on what this lesson may be, I recognize that it’s about true acceptance of the human experience—no fighting to change it, no striving to control it. To be more specific, here are the key points:

  1. Life is downright messy sometimes, and it’s ok.
  2. No matter how much I wish I could feel, 24 x 7, enfolded by the omnipresent, omnipotent Energy of Love I recognize as God and never feel alone or lonely, I do, and that’s ok, too.
  3. I don’t know how long this segment of my human journey will last, but I surrender any feeble attempt at controlling it, as the more I resist or fight it, the harder I make it.

buddha imageThe above may sound like I’m giving up on life. But I’m not. And I’m doing what’s mine to do. Surrendering control doesn’t equate waving a white flag and checking out. Rather, I’m learning that Love never strives or fights or attempts at controlling. Ego does that. When I find myself running loops in my mind to scheme and strategize on how to control or change a situation—and others’ behavior and reaction to me—and, most importantly, to justify any of it in any way, I’ve let ego take control of the steering wheel. Love never needs to do any of that, but instead only knows right action for the benefit of all involved. When action comes from Love and not fear, no justification is ever necessary.

Remember to Love

While fear is an unavoidable part of the human experience, here are some reminders from reflecting on Love:

  1. When I feel myself getting worked up over how others behave, see past the behavior to recognize the fear that belies their actions. Feel compassion for them when I’m ready to do so.
  2. When I feel myself getting worked up over my own thoughts and behavior, whether or not in reaction to others’ behavior, recognize that I’m feeling vulnerable or threatened. That’s an automatic invitation for ego to step in reflexively to do its job to protect me. I can choose to return to Love, accept that my reaction is human, and honor the human experience. From that re-centered place, I can choose to act from Love and course-correct as needed.
  3. When I feel betrayed by life or feel sorry for myself for not having been dealt an easier hand, I don’t have to make myself wrong for having these feelings. There’s always a gift within even the ugliest wrapper. I know I’m here to evolve my spirit and to share lessons learned along the way. When I choose to return to Love, there is no betrayal, only the setup for me to fulfill my soul mission in this life, i.e., to live from my heart and to inspire others to do the same.

Love Never Fails

To close this week’s article, I’d like to enlist the help of Jim Brickman, a pianist who took a passage from the First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians and turned it into a beautiful reminder about Love. When you read the words or play the YouTube video embedded below, imagine it’s the God of your understanding speaking to you. Also, take in Love expressed here as more than romantic love. Enjoy.

Love Never Fails by Jim Brickman

Love, love is patient, love is kind
Love, does not worry, does not boast
It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not easily angered
Love keeps no record of wrongs

Love never fails, never fails
I promise you, my love will never fail
And I will give to you
Faith, hope and love

Love does not delight in evil
Love will always protect
Always trust and always hope and it will persevere
Love rejoices in truth

Love never fails, never fails
I promise you, my love will never fail
And I will give to you
Faith, hope and love

Love never fails, never fails
I promise you, my love will never fail
And I will give to you
Faith, hope and love

But the greatest of these is love
I’ll give you love

___________________

Photo credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

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About Alice Chan, Ph.D.

Dr. Alice Chan is passionate about developing conscious leaders and organizations. Her path to serve her life purpose has included being an award-winning Cornell professor and a leader in the corporate world for nearly 15 years. She’s the author of the book, REACH Your Dreams: Five Steps to be a Conscious Creator in Your Life, and creator of the program, 30 Days to Living Your Best Life. All content on this blog and website is her own, not the opinions of her employer.

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10 comments
Hiten Vyas
Hiten Vyas

HI Alice,


This was a wonderful post and you shared some brilliant insights and advice. I've been practicing applying love instead of fear (a lot of this has been due to your inspiring posts!) quite a lot recently and it really does make difficult daily situations to deal with easier. You are right. Love never fights or strives.

It really is a complete change in consciousness when we choose love. It is powerful and can overbear fear. However, we need to be persistent in choosing love again and again, so that we spend more of our time in this state. As we all know, fear can arise at any time, which of course is ok as well. If we experience fear, we can just go to love again.


Thank you.


Samantha_S_Hall
Samantha_S_Hall

Beautiful share my friend.  As you offer yourself the gift of acceptance, I offer you mine to add to yours.  Acceptance for exactly where you are at on your path, including all the messy and so called 'unspiritual' feelings that go with it. 


I SO resonate with your post Alice.  When we grant ourselves permission to accept ourselves just as we are at this moment, we grant space to breathe.  To befriend and tend to those things seeking for us to notice and acknowledge.  As we offer ourselves the glance of mercy, it is in this space that compassion is born.  As we learn to give compassion to ourselves in whatever ways we may be suffering, we are then more able to extend the same gift of compassion to others.  With a heart of love and understanding.  

Thank you so much for sharing your heart my friend! 

ThinDifference
ThinDifference

A heartfelt, real article, Alice. This is a great point: "There’s always a gift within even the ugliest wrapper." We need to remember to discover those gifts in all circumstances. Thanks. Jon

AlliPolin
AlliPolin

As always, Alice. I'm personally touched by your post.  Sharing your challenge makes my own easier because while our challenges and paths are different, we're both human, learning to love and let go.  

I'm reminded of a class I took years ago when we talked about how others have something that we want in our lives too.  I went up to the instructor at a break and I told her that she had what I wanted: She embraced a messy life while.  The way I see it, the mess is where we let go of our urge to be seen a certain way and accept others as equal to us, and very much as human beings.  Thanks, Alice

scott_elumn8
scott_elumn8

I really appreciated your points under "Remember to Love". Going through my own trying times of late these ways of being and seeing were very helpful and a different way of phrasing ideas I have been trying to manifest in my own life. As always, a wonderful, thoughtful and personal post. Thanks Alice.

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@Hiten Vyas Many thanks for adding your perspective to this conversation, my friend. Indeed, choosing love does take persistence. It is a powerful shift in consciousness, and it's always our choice. Thanks again, Hiten!

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@Samantha_S_Hall Many thanks for your validation and addition, Samantha! Knowing you, it makes sense that this piece would resonate with you. After all, I know how much you embrace authenticity and honor human vulnerabilities, which means struggling with them sometimes. Great to have your perspective! Thank you.

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@ThinDifference Thanks, Jon. Seeing the gift in all wrappers is a lesson I learned from Dr. Robert Holden.

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@AlliPolin Many thanks for your kind words, Alli, and for sharing your experience. You're so right that we may have different challenges, but, ultimately, we're both human beings learning to love and let go. Learning to accept challenges also round out our edges and make us more compassionate and accepting of ourselves, others and life in general. Thank you for joining the conversation!

DrAliceChan
DrAliceChan moderator

@scott_elumn8 Thanks for your feedback, Scott. Glad to know that my post serves you during your challenges. Sending many blessings.

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